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It's just disturbed topsoil, that's all...
If all Queen heard was Radio GaGa, then all we have heard since our return from the quag of Somerset is Glasto Mud. Yep, so consistent precipitation caused an uplift of topsoil, moisture held by the packed clay underlay causing slew and sludge, and on occasion, a puddle or two formed. And all we hear about is the swapping of survivalist tactics, sore calf muscles and raindrops in the beer. It was hardly the Battle Of The Somme after all, although many are proclaiming themselves returning heroes from a festival war. Wellies, decent waterproofs, a hat of some sort (stupid, jester-like made of felt and SPONGE DO NOT COUNT) and a large umbrella, and all set. Its Glastonbury Festival. Over 65% of previous festivals have experienced heavy rain. Rain on grass and soil means mud. Add in thousands of chemically imbalanced people and theres lots of mud. Heavy rain was forecast. By forecasters. On telly. Before it started. Be ready ! Not flip flops and shorts ! Take a brolly ! Fold up hood in back of shower proof jacket will not do ! NO MORE MOANING ABOUT THE MUD ! You know who you were. Get some kit, kiddos... Anyway, we had fun. If you went sure you did too. Rather than burble on, here are our top 7 highlights : 1. The Live Jukebox. Cram a band, dressed like futuristic Hendrix's including drumkit and double bass, into the back of a perspex fronted caravan made to look like a Jukebox, hit the buttons to choose a song and off they go. Fuckin' genius. Fuckin' funny. Check the short vid clip to get a flavour. 2. The Bimble Inn - Tucked away with the Teepees, serving dayglow cider, the drunkest barstaff, full of people dressed like pixies, white witches fronting drum and bass bongo bands, this was like home from home. I cried when I left. 3. Iggy & The Stooges. Never has someone shouting that he wants to kill everyone sounded so joyful. The real deal in a fake world, he even still wants to be your dog. And he was right, you can't hit a man dressed as a clown. Man mountain. 4. Marley Brothers. They are allowed to do those songs, they're blood. And we love them for it. 5. Super Furry Animals. The best festival band ever. The best band ever. OK, so they were in stoner mode rather than electrifying acid rock mode, but its SFA and that means festival. 6. Pure Pie. Pie and mash to be precise. All your carb, vitamin and nutrient requirements before getting royally fucked in a muddy field. With gravy. 7. The Waterboys. Many (whole of the) Moons ago, Mike Scott was my hero with his windswept tales, stadia-folk rock and wholesome celtic roots. Then I grew up a bit. But a potent mix of sleep depravation and luminous cider (see No.2) makes the opening fiddle credits of Fishermans Blues the sweetest sound on gods brown earth. Fiddles sound good on cider, and cider I had had. 8. Keith Tenniswood/Mark Ronson DJ Sets - KT not only fires out a chipper line in wobbly tech tunage, he also attracts a phallanx of oddly dressed danceheads. Watching a pink panther, goose, 2 nuns (male) and a wizard making shapes in the muck gives you hope for our future. Ronson did his wedding set. Without Come On Eileen. 9. Simian Mobile Disco Frisbees - Sadly, not very aerodynamic due to a poor weight/air lip ratio and liable to decapitate at 100 yards. but bloody good as a tray for drinks (no.2) and food (no.6) 10. Big Strides - Thursday night is always the best, end of. The festival hasn't really started yet and there's an excitement in the air, everything is new and in this case too, pretty dry. Big Strides jammed out the Avalon Cafe with their wit fuelled slackjawed blues, the perfect start to the weekend... Upshot in the tent (Tom front, Stephen back) |
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